Mike Huckabee Kills Dog, Threatens to Kill Everyone

Iowa - Mike Huckabee is normally just like every other candidate. He campaigns tirelessly, he pleads for his supporters to raise money, and he launches attack ads on other candidates trying to convince others he is the candidate of choice. The similarities end there however.

After a previous bizarre string of statements alluding to foe suicide and the voter being akin to a dead pheasant if he does not vote for him, he took an even stronger stance in the death of his political foes.

Mike Huckabee was visiting a dog kennel in Northern Iowa today when he viciously attacked and beheaded a dog with his bare hands after being questioned about how he felt about his campaign strength. "I feel like this," he had said.

After requesting a towel and wiping off his hands he said, "Look it, I think I can win. If you don't vote for me, well, you'll end up being a headless dog in a pool of your own blood."

He clarified further, "Hell, even if you do vote for me, you'll end up like this. I'll just do it faster. I'll kill all of you. I swear."

He refused to comment any further.

"I think Huckabee is a great candidate. I mean, did you see that? He killed a fucking rotweiler with his bare hands," said one undecided Republican voter, "and I look forward to being next."

PETA issued a statement condemning Huckabee for his actions.

Our chief political correspondence observed, "He is still showing rockstar performance in the polls with no sign of slowing down, even under intense pressure and scrutiny."

"It is unclear how the dead dog incident will impact his standing," he added.

Mike Huckabee is currently statistically tied for first place in Iowa along with Romney.